Shocked!!!

I raced before sunrise to my cell phone to the check the responses to my new grateful for grief face book page, many had confirmed and left messages about "what I was thinking yesterday", I wrote, I found the answers to why my son killed himself only after surrendering to grief. I received one comment that said, "it almost made her cry", another one said, "he was sorry for my loss and hoped I was feeling better".

At first I thought wow! Then my brain on it's own started adding the numbers of the club members for organization like, "Suicide Survivors". I believe the total of members were near a staggered one million.

This meant a staggering million people were directly or indirectly dealing with suicide related grief. My heart raced in needing to know what the numbers are for people dealing with the other kinds of grief not related to suicide?????

I know it doesn't matter-grief-is-grief. The heart doesn't know the difference.

I was shocked and overwhelmed in knowing that I may have written a book that may actually help bring some of these people help.

God please help me-help these people!
These are my people!

Monique Antoinette~

Not Waiting

I found this blog site after getting the new promo clip up on you tube.
Let's back up a bit.
My name is Monique Antoinette, I am a survivor of grief.
And only after losing my only son to suicide my entire life changed.
Only after surrendering to grief, did I find the answers to why this suicide happened.

After 9 months of journal entries I realized I had the makings of a book. I was sure that I was not the first person having a unique and unusual experience with grief. After this discovery, I was compelled to get this book to others who might come after me with variations of the same experience.

Relentless visits from my son induced a mental breakdown, my own suicide attempt and a time out within a mental institution. I only began to get the message my son was trying to leave me after I abandoned my lifetime religious recordings. What I was experiencing and what I had been taught as a child did not match. "People who kill themselves go to hell", wasn't true and I was now on a rampage to dispel this myth for myself. If this myth was true then how was it that the morning after my son took his last breath, he appeared in the bathroom, wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear that he, "was cool", "with god" and asking me to, " let him go"! My new mission was to understand this new contrast.

Within this acceptance I found the courage to honor the experience I was having, my writers voice and the truth. In the Fall of 2009, I completed my memoir entitled Grateful for Grief: Season's of Transformation. I began querying literary agents and decided while waiting, " I will not wait".

So here I am, at the beginning of a blogging journey. I am thrilled about sharing my thoughts and words about my wonderful experience with grief. For those of you out there experiencing grief right now trying to figure out how to keep breathing in order to stay alive, I woul d love to hear from you..........

Grateful for Grief,
Monique Antoinette